In the last of a series of three talks on working with thoughts and emotions, Donald spoke to 15 of us about working in particular with difficult emotions and thoughts. In his first talk, he spoke about using the tool of mindfulness, and last time he talked about complimenting the more receptive tool of mindfulness with three more active tools that we can carry around with us in our toolbox, so to speak, to use in daily life practice.

There were a number of first-time attendees, so Donald reviewed his two previous talks using his own experience of anger and self-judgment as examples of how to work with them.

He invited each of us to reflect on a pattern of thought or emotion that has been challenging recently. What came up was frustration, hurt, loss, regret, self judgment, indecision, and worry. Donald suggested that we use our own difficult emotions as a personal case study in applying the tools.

One of the most powerful aspects of spiritual practice is that we have resources to work with challenging states of minds and a sense of the workability of each moment. It's one of the great truths of this practice. This practice gives us the ability to see clearly, stability of mind, warmth, and workability. This is true even when we're greatly challenged. We train for that in this formal practice so that we can use these resources in difficult conversations or situations.

As we mature in our practice, we actually become interested in our challenges, rather than wanting them to go away – a major change of attitude. The old Tibetan slogan – "turn all obstacles into the path of practice" is another way of saying to approach all obstacles from the standpoint of possible learning. Most humans take everything as a curse or a blessing, and it become difficult to learn anything.

Last time Donald gave us the MIWA toolbox to work with challenging situations. MIWA stands for: 1.Mindfulness. 2. Inquiry. 3. Wisdom, and 4. Antidotes. The hardest thing is to remember that there is something difficult happening and to remember to practice with consciousness and clear intention. Typically, we get lost and don't remember anything. This is our human history and the content of our newspapers. If we used these four tools, it would lead to a reduction of suffering.

The focus here is working individually with thoughts and emotions. There are also ways of working with others. It is important to recognize that if we were giving a full treatment of this topic, we'd talk about communication, working with conflict, working cooperatively, and the social dimension.

He reviewed the four tools:

1. Mindfulness – This is the core tool that we use. Two main forms are to name what is happening – I'm angry, or hurt. This goes a long way toward breaking the trance. It raises the possibility that we can act with wisdom and compassion. Inquiry is the second tool of mindfulness.
2. Inquiry – This is a more in-depth investigation of our emotions or thoughts, particularly the persistent ones. The basic idea of this practice is that if we really look carefully and don't blame ourselves, and we take a caring, scientific attitude, that over time, this leads to insight and healing. This takes time and isn't instantaneous, because these habits are embedded deeply in our conditioning. This is not the quick, weekend workshop technique. Donald calls it the "exhaustion method." Over time we get it. With the more superficial things, we learn more quickly.

   He has seen people with ingrained patterns of self judgment make major shifts within a year, and they seem to hold. Perhaps the reason why our culture is so hooked on drugs is because it's a quick fix without getting to the roots of the situation. We can take our relationships as places to learn. We can stay with the emotion, stay with the body, and ask what's there, what triggers it, how does it change? We can take notes.

   One of Donald's favorite techniques is to see how the particular thought or emotion manifests in the body. You can change channels, so to speak, by looking at how the mind and body are affected. With sustained looking at judgment, for example, he found that beneath it was some painful experience.

3. Wisdom – This practice has many features. It could be reflecting on how it might be possible to learn something when the thought or emotion comes up. It can be asking what a wise person would think the appropriate thing to do would be. It could be working with the teachings such as the Four Noble Truths. We can go through each one of the Truths to go more deeply and find inner ways to let go of the grasping, for example. This would be the equivalent of Right Understanding.
4. Antidote – Sometimes things are just too much, and it's not wise to go with mindfulness, wisdom, or inquiry. We basically have to get the heck out of there. This is shifting the energy to gain more clarity, like taking a walk or talking with a friend – just common sense. We need to be balanced to use the first three. An antidote to greed might be to give some gifts, to reflect, to take a time out, just to shift the energy. As our mindfulness becomes stronger, we are more able to be balanced with the difficult stuff.

   Donald has thought about writing a book and listing the 20 most difficult emotions and ways to work with each. He offers these four tools as a way to have more resources. In the long run, when we learn more about them and use them, we become of tremendous help to others.

   We finished with a Q & A period.